Tips for First Dates
When going on first dates, it is important, to focus on having a good time with the person you're with and being yourself as opposed to trying to impress them or whether they are interested in you. Doing these things will help remove stress. It is normal to be a little nervous on first dates, but overly stressing when on dates will make dating miserable. Dating should be Enjoyable!
Be considerate of the other person. Focusing on making the date enjoyable for the other person will inevitably make it more enjoyable for you. Find an activity for the date that you know they will enjoy. Focus on listening to what they have to be. And Extremley importantly, respect their boundaries. Make sure that you are being considerate of their feelings and time constraints.
Follow up with the person you went on a date with. Even if you've decided, you don't want to go on another date, respectfully thank the person for going on the date with you or for asking you on the date. You can always let them know you are not interested if they ask you on another date by declining respectfully. Letting them know you had a fun time will also make it more likely that they will want to go with you on another date, or will consider asking you on a date as well.
Consent/Boundaries
Consent is obviously an extremely important concept in dating. Many people, have different ideas of what type of stuff should happen at different stages of dating. Even if the person has let you know they are interested in you, it does not necessarily mean they have given you consent to kiss them or even hold hands. It is important that you ask them if it would be ok if you did that first. If someone tries to kiss/hug/or something with you that you are not comfortable with, pull away and let them know that you are not comfortable with that.
Boundaries become extremely important when you are in a relationship. This is a conversation that you need to establish together. Discussing what you are comfortable with doing together during the different stages of dating will help both partners be at the same page. It also will help you keep each other accountable towards following the Law of Chastity.
Communication in Relationships
Communication is extremely important when it comes to relationships. Many issues that arise in relationships are due to lack of communication. Here are some things that can help your relationship improve by applying them to your communication
- Be Honest: Trust is extremely important in relationships. If you lie to your partner and being deceitful it is unfair towards them. It will also eventually, come back and bite you.
- Be Open/Vulnerable: When in a relationship, it is important that you are able to voice how you feel with your partner. Letting them know your feelings is something that if they are the right person, will help bring you together. You do eventually want to be with someone who you can communicate openly and be vulnerable with after all.
- Use "I messages": Many times, when an argument happens in a relationship that is due to the fact that you are telling your partner what they don't like about what they do. It is more helpful to let them know why you feel that way and focus on how you are feeling as opposed what you think they are doing wrong. This helps your partner understand why you are frusterated rather than them thinking you just are trying to attack them.
- Check in on your partner: Let them know you are thinking of them. Showing this concern and making sure you communicate regularly even when you are apart shows that you care about this relationship. If you don't have this communication, then both you and your partner will inevitably feel like the other person does not value the relationship.
- "I love You": When you are at a stage in the relationship, where you have expressed that you love one another. Saying "I love you" and reassuring your partner in this way is important. Expressing love in this way will remind you and your partner of what really is important in your relationship and will help you get through the more difficult times and through the trivial things that will happen.
- Compliment your partner: Similar to I love you, it is important you tell them why. Compliments help your partner feel more secure and they help remind you of their good. It is important you see the good in your partner when you go through arguments/disagreements.
- Listen: This one might be the most important. Listen to what your partner has to say. There's a difference between hearing and listening. Hearing means that you understand what they say. Listening means you internalize it and react. When you make changes and decide to act based on what they are say, you show that you are listening and that you care.
As you apply these methods of communication to your relationship, you will see an improvement. Being respectful, being empathetic, and being open are things to keep in mind during your relationship
The Platinum Rule
This is what my Dad always likes to talk about. We all know the Golden Rule is Treat others the way you want to be treated. The Platinum Rule goes: Treat others how THEY would like to be treated. Keeping this principle in mind throughout dating and courtship, will help make dating a better experience for you and for those you date and is an important principle to remember for life.
Testimony
Dating is something that I had sort of a negative attitude about prior to this project. However, through this project and my research, I now have a new attitude about dating. I know that God has created dating for our benefit. Though, I am not currently in a relationship, I know that through dating, eventually one day I will find someone that I will be able to marry and progress with.
